MY FEET ARE ON THE FINISH LINE

But where's my reward?

I wonder what i've been after all this while.
I quit school today. Surprise Surprise. I'm moving, soon. I have so much to do on my to-do-list and i'm barely half way through. If i could lay all my thoughts out, there's tonnes of things i haven't gotten around to finish. I know what i have to do. It's somewhere there in my subconscious, just a little obscure for me to grasp. I hate how that feels. I can't sit still and i'm just so jittery every time.

It's annoying when you have so much laid before you and find yourself jammed.
I've made it through today. All the hugs, tears and the goodbyes. It's so frustrating, i want to let each person know how much i appreciate them and that i'll miss them. I can't say it to their faces, can i? I don't like drama. Emotional moments are worse. It's not really me. People know me as the girl with the infectious laughter and that stupid smile they think its sunny.

Note to self: smile smile smile, laugh laugh laugh. Just laugh like a crazy bitch. It's what i do best. Why stop now, right?
I've hurt enough people i genuinely care about.

Hairol, this one's for you.

H = hurt.
Do you still not get it? Wasn't it just so obvious?
It's not haunt, it's not hug and definitely not hump.
I lashed out at you and hurt you as much as you did me.
You have no idea how it feels. I guess you do now?

It's no use saying this now.
I regret it.
I regret everything.

Your hugs are always so warm, i didn't want to accept it.
You look at my ugly face and tell me i'm beautiful, i want to believe it.
I feel i'm wrong but then again i feel like i'm right.
Do you laugh while i do this or does this really make you tear?

Now does that clear your little curious mind? I bet your head is down the dictionary right now, searching every word that starts with the letter H. You are one of the hardest people to figure out. You get so warm it's so comforting. And you get so bitter you leave me in the cold. You PMS like a bitch and talks like a kid. Wow, you must really be some animal.

Now, i need a second to catch my breath, clear my head and let it go.

Hell yeah, i got my reward bitches.
It was big and it was warm.

His hug.

- Ji Hee